Transforming Trauma into Medicine through Sacred Relationship with Self, Spirit and Mother Earth

Leadership, Solstice & the Goody Two Shoes

Oh sweet, blessed Sun Cycle of light. I give thanks for your powerful illumination in these past 6 months. For shining the power of awareness on what I have most needed to learn.

In January I set the intention to step into authentic leadership, and I don’t’ know about you; but I find the new years intention to be an act of profound invocation. It sets the tone and vibration for what I am going to learn for the year, as the sacred power of the Sun’s cycle waxes and does its work. My prayer was to show me what I need to tend to in my life; relationships, work, and spiritual practice to carry this forward.

Now you might not know that I have a rosy good two shoes pleaser archetype who evolved from my personal attachment needs as a child and is still carried with me. Really, she is right there alongside my punk rock teenager- I know contradictive, but hey that’s life.

Her essence rises every now and then and I find myself trying to make nice, be good and please the other, often at the cost of myself. I have become better and better at recognising this through the years and not compromising myself, but there have still been moments where this old habit is the energy that negotiates my response to life, rather than what I really want.

The thing with the pleaser is her response might seem easier in the moment, but it is never easier long term. She creates resentment and misaligned energy when I choose to meet my assumption of another’s needs and expectations over what my own body is telling me I need. When this is in relationships, they end up developing shadows of the things that you can’t talk about which overtime compromises the experience of relating. When it is in my work I end up with clients or program participants who are stuck in victim thinking and are completely not a fit for what I do.

So, the universe being the brilliant manifestor that it is responded perfectly to my intention. I could even hear it… “Okay Sarah, I will send you the best lessons to practice this.”

I manifested a disagreement with a family member who I have had a challenging time standing up to, as I have not wanted to hurt her feelings. I did my best to face the conflict with love and hold true to what I believe.

I manifested a teacher in a training I was doing, that I had to withdraw from, which led to her being manipulative, bullying, and aggressive – similar to a teacher I had once upon a time that I had not stood my ground with. This included emails sent to me that required me to graciously be clear without falling into the petty behaviour that was being sent my way. Or changing my mind to make her happy.

I manifested a program participant who’s disregard for being on time in my retreat (I’m talking five hours late) led me to asking her not to come. This was followed with people trolling my social media with nasty comments and insinuations, and I simply pushed the ban user button like magic.

So much of leadership includes the noticing of habitual responses. The old story I might have told in my head and stopping it before I engage. Then tuning in to what my body tells me first. Our wisdom is a felt sense. It often is not logical.

Leadership is letting go of what other people think, trusting yourself and in many ways having no more fucks to give.

Leadership is choosing ourselves and loving ourselves enough to trust in the integrity of our instinct and living this as a daily practice.

And so it is that the cycle of the sun in its full illumination has made this known for me. Thank you, Universe! Thank you, Grandfather Sun!

These have been big teachings, well received. Now it is the season of integration, embodiment, and harvest.

Blessings for this summer Solstice.